The French Fry
by thebooptroop
Summary: Dean is transgender (ftm) and when the group's plan doesn't take this into account, it's up to Castiel and Crowley to help out. Its a silly short story. Edit: For some odd reason the transition lines didn't post with it. Sorry about that.


"Hey, ok so this uh...darkness thing..."

"We need to all work together to stop it." Sam finished Dean's sentence, all while maintaing eye contact with the group in front of them.

Jody put her head in her hands, Donna looked at her and sighed, while Castiel and Crowley just stood by the table with uncomfortable expressions.

"Samantha, I want nothing to do with this" Crowley awkwardly spoke.

"Well, too bad. You're already involved." Sam tried to keep his voice from cracking.

Dean got up and headed to the kitchen for a beer, because stress always mixed well with alcohol. Everyone followed, and started to scatter about the bunker, most of them going to their rooms. Kevin's mother and Kevin went off to the basement, but no one questioned it. Their minds were elsewhere, focused on the possible second Apocalypse.

"Castiel." Crowley stopped the angel dead in his tracks. Castiel turned around after rolling his eyes.

"What do you want."

"We need to talk."

"About what?" Crowley grabbed him and pulled him closer.

"About the alcoholic in the kitchen."

"What about him?" Castiel's eyes narrowed.

"This stupid plan of their's, it requires Dean staying inside the bunker...its a bad idea."

"Dean can handle himself." He shook the demon's hand away.

"Dean can't access a hospital, and Sam is going to be gone searching for the darkness. Its a bad idea Castiel!"

"Don't shout."

"Hmph." Crowley crossed his arms and looked away until Castiel finished his thoughts and spoke again.

"You aren't wrong."

"Something wrong boys?"

Both of them looked up at the person on the stairs, Jody the police officer.

"No." They said in sync, and walked in different directions.

He was sweating so heavily, and breathing so quickly, it was no surprise that when he woke up he woke up in pain. Dean Winchester rolled over to the other side of the bed, arms grabbing at his stomach, and his forehead covered in sweat.

"Fuck..." he growled as his rolled back onto the other side, and then onto the floor. He managed to get up by gripping onto the bed sheets and slowly pulling his heavy body up. Dean waddled into his bathroom and flicked the light on right before he leaned down to vomit in the toilet. It was hours before he layed back down and drifted back into sleep. Castiel stood outside the door, waiting for it to go quiet, and when he turned to return to his room Crowley startled him.

"You're that kind of boyfriend, aren't you?" Crowley smirked but the angel just walked by him.

"A little obsessive!" He said to his back.

All the women but the teenagers were present for breakfast, as they all shared their life stories over the eggs and bacon on the old wooden table. Castiel walked into the room, admiring the good looking food he could no longer eat. Donna noticed and offered a bite, but he had to decline.

"Where's Dean?" Donna asked.

"No surprise that he's still in bed." Jody chuckled at herself and then continued to eat and Donna shrugged it off.

"Did Sam already leave?" Castiel asked.

All of the women nodded, and he sighed.

They went off on a search, visiting a church that had sworn they'd seen the antichrist. Now whether it was real or just some homophobic bullshit was unknown, and up to the women to find out. It was about a 3 hour drive, and they seemed in high spirits despite the situation. Castiel had helped them pack, and they were off at noon. It was 5 PM when they heard from them that there is actually something there.

Dean would've demanded to go, to help out or to see if something was actually there, but Dean had not left his room once.

Castiel stared at a painting of a naked angel on the wall, and heard Crowley approach but did not bother to turn around.

"What is it."

"I have an idea." Castiel turned around and looked him dead in the eyes.

"No."

"You didn't even listen"

"I don't have to."

"Its an obvious answer to the problem we have."

"Is it?"

"Yes, Castiel, kindly remove your head from your ass and I will tell you."

"My head is not-"

"Castiel."

"Crowley."

"I hate you."

"We could sneak into a hospital and get the testosterone."

"That was MY plan."

"Surely we could take enough to last awhile. I know what dosage he needs."

"First of all, you're a creepy boyfriend, second of all, I hate you."

Castiel moved away lost in thought.

Castiel busted through the hospital door with Crowley (whom was at first worried about Castiel's take on the plan, but was now prepared to be entertained) not far behind.

"I demand hormones." Castiel slammed a twenty onto the front desk and the two clerks looked up in confusion.

"What?"

"Give me your hormones." Crowley couldn't hold back a giggle.

"That is not...how this works...erm sir...or madam...You'll have to see a specialist for that. We can give you an appointment for gender specialist Dr. Howard if you'd like?"

"Yes."

"Ok, if you could just wait a few hours, he can talk to you then."

"Yes."

Castiel and Crowley sat in the waiting room, Crowley still giggling.

7:46 PM

Castiel picked up his phone.

"Hello?"

"Cas? Where are you?" Dean's gruff voice surprised him.

"In a hospital."

"What? Why?"

"Uh...Crowley has a nurse fetish..." Crowley turned and growled.

"I do not! Thats way too vanilla..."

"Ok, ok, you know what, don't care. Can you do me a favor?" Dean sighed as he sat down on his bed.

"Yes."

"Could you pick me up, three large cheeseburgers with a side of fries from literally anyplace but those stupid vegan stores?"

"Yes."

"Ok, thanks."

Dean hung up.

"You're the one with the nurse fetish, hot wings. Remember Meg?" Castiel shot Crowley a deadly look.

Dr Howard sat Castiel down in a small therapy room.

"So, I heard you wanted...hormones? Could you explain to me why?"

"I wish to transition."

"And why is that?"

"Do you need another reason?"

"I need to be certain."

"Isn't the fact that I wish to transition enough?"

"No, it does not work that way-"

"I want a penis."

"Don't you already have one? Now hold on, i'm sorry, let me check your forms..." The doctor picked up a clipboard with the forms he filled out. On "sex" he had crossed out both options and had written "No preference".

"I do not..."

Crowley barged through the door.

"I stole the meds, let's go hot wings."

Dean woke up with a jolt. He looked around his room in tired confusion, but paused when he saw a box and a piece of paper. He got up and looked at the paper, and read it.

"I demanded the hormones, Dean. I also tried to eat one of your french fries but it tasted like sugar. Apologies, - Castiel"

He flipped it over.

"He meant testosterone, but you know how angels are – Crowley. P.S. Watch out, Castiel has been hovering by your door at night."

Dean put the letter down and smiled at the box, but turned around and stared at his door, not sure what to think of that comment. He sat down and sighed, thinking to himself. Then he got up and opened the door, coming face to face with the angel.

"Cas."

"Dean, if you are mad about the fry I can replace it. I promise."

"I'm not...dammit Cas if there is not a single fry on my bed when I wake up you're a dead angel."

"I promise to retrieve the fry."


End file.
